When July Stopped Feeling Like Summer

Reflections on why July became the hardest month of my teaching career and how I found my way back.

If you ask me what my favorite months are, you can be certain that July would be in the top three. July is when we vacation, soak up plenty of sun, relax, and I am generally happy during this time.

As a student, though, July also signaled the end of summer and the start of the upcoming school year. That was when I had to start going to bed incrementally earlier. I needed to get used to waking up early and make sure I had enough sleep for the long school days ahead.

When I first started working outside of education, I had to get used to being more productive during July. It was no longer the month for lounging.

When July Changed

Eventually, after I transitioned into education as a teacher, July took on a similar role but with even more responsibility. The anxiety I felt was no longer about dreading homework assignments and tests. It shifted into worrying about completing all the tasks and responsibilities of preplanning, professional development, and the looming reality of teacher life.

In my early years as a teacher, I worried a lot about learning my new students. What would my roster be like? Who would I get? Would I be able to handle it?

After putting some years in, I was much less worried about my roster. I had done the work. I had learned how to manage my classroom and build the rapport needed to have positive relationships with my kids. I did not even worry about who my hall buddies would be.

Over time, my focus shifted. I found myself worrying more about what extras would be piled on my teacher plate. The never-ending to-do list and what I perceived as my failure to get ahead. That deserves its own blog post another day. The restrictions, the bureaucracy, and the hidden agendas that seemed to shape so many decisions in the field.

It Was Never About the Teaching

It was not about teaching. I could do that with my eyes closed. I did not mind the kids at all. The parents were not a problem either. I had mastered how to build relationships with them as well.

The red tape that kept me from doing what I loved was the elephant in the room. There were so many mandated requirements that blocked me from serving my students. Each year in the trenches, it became increasingly clear that the decisions being made did not serve the best interests of students.

There was paperwork to document paperwork and required detailed plans to provide interventions that could not always be followed because of the push to get ahead and follow the pacing guide. A total mess.

What frustrated me most about preplanning was how often the process was interrupted by mandatory meetings. They rarely left you alone long enough to actually do the work.

I understood there were things we needed to be briefed on, but there was often a lack of respect for the time it really takes to get rooms ready, prep lessons, and organize materials. I know this varies by school, but it is still a pretty common practice.

So my summers would start off with me being tired and burnt out. I spent June trying to recoup, which meant my sleep routine was out the window in favor of staying up late and doing whatever.

All the while, I dreaded each day that inched me closer to July. When July finally came, especially after the Fourth, I felt a sense of doom like no other toward the end of my career. This was totally unhealthy.

The only glimmers I had were my obsession with supplies. Seeing them in the stores excited me and saddened me at the same time. I would splurge on trendy and useful items, but I still dreaded the fast-paced preplanning season that led into the newness of the year and brought such an exhaustion that it should be studied.

At one point, I started using simple “Coming Soon” signs on my walls to give myself permission not to have everything done on day one.

Let July Be July Again

Thankfully, that time for me is no longer. I can look at July now and let it be what it was always supposed to be for me, a month where I can breathe and not brace.

If you are entering your preplanning season, just know that I am sending positive whimsy vibes your way, and I am here to talk or listen to you vent.

When the way started to feel too cloudy for me, a few practices helped. I went back to my why. I thought about the kids and the kind of year I wanted to have. I paid attention to my health, physical, mental, spiritual, and otherwise. I paid attention to my joy and looked for ways to amplify it. These same reflections might help you too.

One thing that helped me was accepting that I could only do so much with the time I was given. It is important to do what you can with the time you are allowed. Do not run yourself ragged chasing the perfect look. Simplify where you can, and remember that sometimes a little, if it is effective, goes a long way.

Know that you have options, even when it seems you do not. Always remember your career does not define you or your happiness. Whether you leave or stay, there is life during and most certainly after recess.